Fighting Naked In The Tail of Charts

Vilja looked at Thrynn’s disappearing body then at Lurren who was glaring at him.  “Think I will go to help him.”  She ran off to catch up with Thrynn, leaving Lurren at the meadery.

“Do I look like I am growing a tail?”  The voice behind her asked.

Lurren was fuming that Thrynn left her and took that other woman with him.  The man’s voice next to her broke that chain of thought.  “What?”

“The bottle it cursed me, now I think I am growing a donkey’s tail.”

“A donkey tail?”  She moved her eyes toward the oversized boy.  “The bottle cursed you with a donkey tail?”

“I don’t know but it feels funny back there, like something is growing.  I am cursed, what will me mum say?”

Lurren patted him on the chest just under the shoulder, “I’m not sure but you will find a way but now it you will excuse me.”  She bolted after Vilja in hopes to get the bottle and give it to Thrynn.

“Where are we going?”  Vilja was asking Thrynn as they went up the path for Bleak Falls Barrow.

“To fetch that Dragonstone.” He replied.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could talk a little, just you and I?”  Vilja sang out softly to him.

A sucker for women, Thrynn stopped and turned around.  “Sure thing, kitten.  What’s on your mind?”

The arrow sang past their ears and into the wolf about to pounce on Thrynn.

Lurren simply strolled past them then fell back when Thrynn yanked her arm. “What is wrong with you?  Could have hit one of us!”

She looked down at his hand then glared up at him. “Believe me, if I wanted to hit you, I would have.”  With a hard, swift yank she was free of his grip but not his anger.  “You hear something?”

“No” Vilja replied.

“Bandits are near, I can smell them.”  Lurren went into sneak mode and crept further up the path.

“Oh nice trick, Agent Lurren.” Thrynn thought as he began to follow her.

“For Sovngarde!!”  The Broken Bandit screamed as she changed at Lurren as three other bandits along with a skeever attacked.

“Enough of this!”  Thrynn shouted back as he shot arrows that missed more than hit anything.

Vilja sprang into action by going naked and screaming at the bandits to leave Lurren alone.

“Just a scratch!” The mage blasting fire flames at Lurren remarked about the wound he received.

Vilja would show happiness for her victory by sheathing and unsheathing her sword twice in the nude.  “A true nord never dresses for battle!” She giggled quietly at her own joke.

Thrynn very much appreciated this action as he gazed dreamily at her body.

Lurren was picking through the bodies for more clues but found nothing.  She looked around while running her hand through her hair.  “4 bandits plus a pet and nothing on the top dogs.”

“You just started, Agent Lurren, you expect these bandits to just come running to you?”  Thrynn offered his advice.

“They did just charge us so I think it is a reasonable request.”  Vilja fully agreed with Lurren that something was amiss about these bandits.

His bedroom brown eyes shifted to Vilja, “Don’t encourage her, agree with her or even think like her!  She is wrong about this and probably has some book memorized saying so!”

Vilja looked down sadly while she checked to confirm her head was still attached.  “I only wanted to help.  She did help me and we are best friends.”

“I am so sorry, kitten.”  Thrynn walked over and took Vilja into his arms to hug her sorrows away.

Lurren, on the other hand, had a growing sorrow within her for bringing these two idiots along.  One she could not shake and the other she wanted to shake.  “It’s not a book.”

Thrynn rolled his eyes toward the sky and just knew he would regret asking this.  “What is it then?”

“A chart that the boss man thinks I know nothing about.  Like a good book, that chart is there.”  She pointed to her head to indicate the chart had been memorized as well.  “However, what Indigoblade fails to realize is his own charts are incorrect.”

“This should be good.”  Thrynn remarked.

Lurren produced two charts from her knapsack.

“Oh look, 2 of the 48 she carries.”  Thrynn dryly commented about.

“This chart here,” She was shaking it in the air, “is called “Bandit Hierarchy” and this chart here is “Bandit Relationships.”  She started out calmly while watching Thrynn and Vilja admire each other’s weapons before her temper started to rise.  “And it’s not the kind of relationship you would like it to be with the all the female bandits, Thrynn!”

Thrynn shrugged while keeping a close eye on Vilja’s smiling face.  “If you say so.”

“I say so!”  Lurren growled back.  “Now, if one reviews the first chart carefully, one can see the first discrepancy immediately.  Since I memorized the chart, I know it by heart.”

Vilja leaned against Thrynn’s chest and hummed for him. “La la la la la la la”

Lurren shot a stink eye look at the woman but pushed ahead with her explanation.  “In this chart he states there are regular bandits and bandit gangs.  First we have the looter who is a bandit but, if you follow the Indigoblade’s theory, these individuals are afraid of bandits.  One must then ask why is a bandit afraid of the bandits when one is clearly a bandit.  Thrynn, care to comment on that with your expertise on the bandit life?”

“Negative.”  He was busy playing rock, paper, and scissors with Vilja to bother with any bandit conversations.

Lurren folded the charts up and shoved them both into her knapsack.  No doubt, she will need to explain the errors of Indigoblade’s ways to these two at another time. She sighed at being the third wheel but at least she was the leader.  By her calculations the way to Markarth was further than the way to Bleak Falls Barrows.  Giving both of her party members some healthy death looks, she went to get OR not get that stupid stone tablet.

The trio blasted their way through the ruins with ease without much conversation.  Only person she found to talk to her was the man in some spider web.  Any possibility of a friendship with him was lost after he called Lurren a fool for cutting him free.  That left her with the followers but she got some golden claw off her dead ex-friend.  Should be worth a fortune!  Still it is hard to talk to people when their faces are smashed together.  Didn’t matter how many draugrs they fought, Thrynn and Vilja would always went back to flirting after every fight.

Thrynn leaned down to whisper in Vilja’s ear, “Have you seen her blink?”

Vilja thought about it then declared he was right.  “We could help get her cured.”

He laughed, “Oh sweet pea, she is beyond that.”

Vilja giggled as she snuggled closer to him.  “Muscles and brains, a girl’s dream.”

Lurren wasn’t expecting the large room at the end of the ruin and apparently either was Thrynn.

“In all my years, I have never seen such a place.” He remarked upon nearing the main platform.

“That’s what you get for living a sheltered life.” Lurren thought as she scoured the room for hidden treasures before approaching the wall.  She was about to ask what it was when the room went black and a choir sang from some unseen place.  Lurren wasn’t sure what just happened but when the darkness faded to light, a very angry draugr lord broke free of his coffin.

“Could one of your lords, Agent Lurren.”  Thrynn smirked as he charged the lord then shot back from the shout unleashed on him.

Lurren had never heard such a sound before, her knees buckled as she fought to stay upright.

Vilja demonstrating her fighting skills in the nude as usual, bounced back and forth behind Thrynn while taking the occasional potshot at the undead lord with her wooden sword.  “Back, you filthy monster, I’ll tell my grandmother on you!”

When it was finally over, Lurren found Farengar’s item on the dead lord.  She led them out of the ruins with the Dragonstone tablet in hand.

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